7 Reasons Why The Dating System Is Broken And How To Navigate The Shit-Show (The Huffington Post)

 

Like most single people in New York, I both deplore and perpetuate the IRL version of The Bachelor that is dating in this city. I complain about the prevalence of sociopathy and erratic behavior, then date four people at once to titrate my feelings of vulnerability with a safety net of affection. I wake up feeling lonely one day or wishing someone (I were in love with) were lying next to me – then am inundated with friends’ and clients’ stories of infidelity, heartbreak and lost interest – and return to a place of skepticism about monogamy and relationship longevity (READ MORE).

Megan On The Food For Fitness Podcast: Disordered Eating, Anxiety, and Perfectionism

check out my podcast interview with Scott Baptie. Obviously I don’t endorse a lot of the diet-culture messaging that’s inherent in the brand, but I admire Scott’s interest and openness in the topic and have always been a big believer in the educating vs. ostracizing 🙂. Enjoy!

FFF 084: Disordered Eating, Anxiety and Perfectionism - with Megan Bruneau

This episode’s guest is Megan Bruneau – a psychotherapist and wellness coach based in New York. She is also a writer and blogger and her work has been featured in different publications like Forbes, The Huffington Post, Entrepreneur, Thought Catalog and Elephant Journal, just to name a few. She hosts the Failure Factor which features “failure stories” from successful people.

Today, we discuss eating disorders, anxiety, and other manifestations brought about by perfectionism. A very insightful episode as Megan has actually suffered from and battled with perfectionism as well, which she was able to overcome by practicing what she preaches, stepping out of her comfort zone, and discovering self-compassion. A very eloquent speaker, Megan provided us with an excellent episode that you’ll gain a load of value from.

Listen to it on iTunes

Listen to it on Stitcher

An Open Letter To Wellness Media, Influencers, And The Woman Who Wants to Lose “Those Last X Pounds” (The Huffington Post)

Warning: This article contains images of unnaturally low body weight achieved by unhealthy means that may be triggering for some.*

“I can’t. I’m on a juice-cleanse. I just need to lose X pounds.”

I swear to God if there’s one thing that will make me willingly leave this city, it’s hearing another group of brilliant, inspiring women talk about their “need” to reach some arbitrary goal weight they’ve determined will be the impetus to their elusive self-acceptance. (READ MORE)

The Greatest Gift A Single Woman Can Give Herself (Girls Gone Strong)

At 16 years old, I fell madly in love.

We were inseparable, dramatic romantics, and within a few months of our first kiss, everything I did was with this boy in mind. I was constantly coming up with new little ways to show him how much I loved him, I would try to guess what he wanted and needed before he asked for it, and I thought of him and his desires day and night (READ MORE).

 

Ladies, Trump Wants You To Edit Your Selfies

Did Sarah do something to her face? Check out her latest Insta, my friend Jasmine messaged to our group chat.

I clicked to Sarah’s most recent post and sure enough, her eyes were bigger, her face thinner, her skin smoother, her teeth whiter, her waist smaller.

Yes, Sarah had done something to her face. She had edited it.

Sarah had edited her face.

(READ MORE)

Round Table with the Experts: How to Survive the Holidays with an Eating Disorder (The Huffington Post)

I was interviewed alongside some other badass experts on how to survive the holidays when recovering from an ED. Check it. 

The Holidays are often said to be the most wonderful time of year. For many, it is a time to see loved ones, eat delicious food and celebrate the New Year. But for the 30 million Americans struggling with eating disorders, this time of year can be stressful and overwhelming.

For those in recovery from Anorexia, Binge Eating Disorder, Bulimia or other eating disorders– it is anything but easy. Whether someone is a year into stable recovery or 10 years into his or her process of healing, there are many components that can still make the holidays an ultimate challenge (READ MORE).

Here’s How to Let Go of the Past, Once and for All (The Warm Up)

let-go-of-the-past-for-2017

I was interviewed for ClassPass’ The Warm Up about how to let go of the past. Here’s what they came up with:

We all carry a past around with us. Like passport stamps of places seen and adventures had, whether those adventures were full of joy or tinted with sadness, the past is with us always, little marks there to remind us of what came before now.

The past shapes how we think and who we are: how we see the world, how we choose to react to events, how we function in relationships and the decisions we make from moment to moment. The past is our framework, our series of examples from which to draw conclusions, and a way in which we continue to survive, continuing to follow paths that previously brought us joy and avoiding those which brought pain READ MORE).

Interview For “Never Liked It Anyway’s” Woman Crush Wednesday

I was interviewed for Never Liked It Anyway‘s Woman Crush Wednesday. Check out the best and worst gifts I ever got, my go-to pick-me-up, and my advice for all things love, sex, and dating :):

megan1
This week’s Woman Crush Wednesday is the one and only Megan Bruneau – aka the incredible talent behind One Shrink’s Perspective. Megan is so real, raw and honest that you notice it through her writing, and within the first five seconds of meeting. We met recently at a panel hosted by Forbes for women, and within an instant I was struck by her smarts, sass and direct manner. It’s an inspiration and naturally brings out a level of conversation that’s all too rare these days. Megan is an expert in all things love, breakups and moving on; and approaches it all with refreshing candor and energy. Here’s what she had to say about all things love, sex and dating.

What’s the best gift you ever got?

An ex gave me a necklace that means “Follow your dreams,” even though he knew me “following my dreams” likely meant we weren’t going to stay together. It was heartbreaking and deeply motivating at the same time. Since then, I moved to New York to follow my dreams, and we broke up. I wore it every day for two years. I’ve since swapped it out for a different piece of jewelry with different meaning, but it still sits on my desk and reminds me why I’m here every day (READ MORE).

Millennial Entrepreneurs: Here’s How To Embrace Discomfort And Follow Your Dreams (FORBES)

My dad was a criminal lawyer for 43 years. He spent Monday through Friday between court and the office, escaping every Friday in summer to the lake, and every Friday in winter to the mountain. This highly privileged life (by most accounts) is traditionally appealing, but I feel panicked at the thought of replicating it.

Image Courtesy of Pexels
Image Courtesy of Pexels

The bust-your-ass-for-five, enjoy-life-for-two routine served my dad for those 43 years, as a similar version may have served your parents. Still heavily influenced by their parents’ trauma from the Great Depression and WWII, our parents sought the safety and security that accompanies a respectable profession such as law (READ MORE).

Megan on ‘The Science Of Success’ Podcast With Matt Bodnar: Uncover the Root of Your Pain, How to Smash Perfectionism, Love Yourself, and Live a Richer Life

In this episode we discuss why the “happiness” movement has done us a disservice and sometimes makes things worse, how perfectionism creates an illusion of control and distorts your reality, how to become aware of the critical inner voice at the root of your pain and unhealthy habits, the incredible power of self compassion, and much more with Megan Bruneau.

Megan Bruneau is a psychotherapist, wellness coach, writer, podcast host and creator of oneshrinksperspective.com After years of perfectionism-fueled depression, anxiety, and eating disorders, she discovered how to like herself, take risks, and find success without beating herself up to get there.

  • Why Megan advocates a holistic approach to mental health
  • Why the “happiness” movement has done us a disservice and sometimes makes things worse
  • How to become aware of the critical inner voice at the roof of your pain and unhealthy habits
  • What your “secondary emotions” are and why its so important to pay close attention to them
  • How you internalize self judgement from your childhood experiences
  • You can have expectations about mood not just performance and that can create suffering
  • The importance of giving yourself permission to feel feelings even when they are uncomfortable
  • What your physiological symptoms look like when you experience a fight or flight response
  • How to build tolerance and grow your “emotional muscle”
  • The tools you can use (with a concrete example) to stop a downward spiral of anxiety
  • Things you might do that actually make a negative emotional response worse
  • The importance of making space for difficult feelings ( through mindfulness )
  • How to have deep self compassion and treat yourself with kindness
  • What exactly to say to yourself when you’re dealing with difficult emotions
  • Why you should treat yourself like a dear friend who is suffering
  • How the “self esteem” movement screwed you up and created many of your emotional challenges
  • What happens when your self worth is dependent on being better than other people
  • How Megan defines perfectionism (and why you might be a perfectionist without even realizing it)
  • The critical importance of self compassion and how you can practice it
  • The importance of understanding the concept of “common humanity”
  • We define mindfulness and its core components, and discuss how to practice it
  • Why painful feelings don’t make you broken, but are a natural part of the human experience
  • The huge downsides of having your self worth tied to your achievements
  • Why your fear of difficult and uncomfortable emotions is the roof of your suffering
  • The exact internal dialogue you should use if you constantly put too much pressure on yourself
  • The massive danger of “globalizing” negative experiences
  • Why giving up high expectations actually enhances your performance
  • Why you should change for your focus from being productive to focusing on what’s meaningful
  • How you can “become friends” with difficult emotions
  • And MUCH more!

If you are frustrated, suffering, or struggling with uncomfortable emotions, listen to this episode!

The Biggest Dating Change You Can Make To Stop Getting Rejected (Thrillist)

tmg-article_main_wide

After my last breakup, dating again was a clumsy and painful process.

I fumbled my way back into the scene by downloading (then deleting, then re-downloading, then re-deleting) the essential apps. I shamelessly hit on the hot ref in my soccer league. I lobbed out a few “how ya been?” texts to old hookups. And for the next six months I found myself attracted to men who lived on other continents, struggled with depression, had girlfriends or wives, or were workaholics or misogynistic jerks (READ MORE).

How To Be Wisely Vulnerable: When To ‘Feel’ And When To Avoid (Huffington Post)

couple-kissing

I recently broke things off with a guy because I felt too vulnerable. I hadn’t experienced “those kind” of feelings for someone in ages, and it left me paralyzingly uncomfortable. Now look, a shit-ton of anxiety is a natural symptom of falling for someone, and feeling vulnerable in relationships is necessary; however this felt extreme. I tried to sit with the discomfort and “be cool,” chalking my distrust up to past betrayals or attachment issues. But something wasn’t right. My spidey-sense kept going OFF, so I honored my intuition and called it quits (READ MORE).

Post-Election Survival Guide: 6 Steps To Healing And Moving On (FORBES)

For many women — especially those who have bumped into a glass ceiling or two — the possibility of electing America’s first female president fueled their dreams and drive for a more equal workplace and world for women. But for these women, what began as a hope and excitement-filled Tuesday quickly transformed into emotions including heartbreak, disbelief, confusion, and anger.

And as the shock wears off, so many of us wonder, ”What now?” How do we maintain heart and continue the fight when all that was shattered was hope? How do we cope with anxiety surrounding the future? (READ MORE)

Image Courtesy Of Pexels

Interview With The Native Society On Megan’s Most Challenging Moment, Motto, And More

 The Native Society interviewed me on my most challenging moment, biggest success, role model, and more! Follow the link below to read the full interview!

What do you do best?

Find the positive in a difficult or unwanted situation. Or, as some might call it, “rationalize” (haha). I read Man’s Search For Meaning by Viktor Frankl when I was 22, and it changed my life. A quote that really stuck with me was: “Even the most negative aspects of human existence such as guilt, suffering, and death can be viewed positively, given the right attitude.” This is not to say that we shouldn’t have compassion for ourselves during challenging times, but trusting that we’ll find meaning in that suffering is essential to resilience. I live by the philosophy that life is our teacher and there’s a lesson in every disappointment and challenge.

(TAKE ME TO THE REST OF THE INTERVIEW!)

Recovering From Perfectionism–Terri Cole, LCSW Interviews Megan On The ‘Hello Freedom’ Podcast

I chatted with my gal, Terri Cole, about what perfectionism is and how to recover on the Hello Freedom podcast. Check it out!

When we think of perfectionists, an image of super overachievers bravely changing the world with risky new ideas or inventions might come to mind, but for the true perfectionists this description is inaccurate. Perfectionists tend to pursue goals that they KNOW for sure they can accomplish so the risk is minimal, even if the workload is insane (READ MORE).

30 Sobering Realizations You Need To Have In Order To Be Truly Happy (Thought Catalog)

thoughtcatalog

1. Change is inevitable and uncomfortable, and you’ll survive it. We go to great lengths to avoid change or to ensure we’re totally prepared for it, but you can never totally prepare. Change/transition is inevitable and uncomfortable, and we can choose to view it as liberating or devastating. Humans are adaptive and I promise as long as you survive, you’ll survive.

2. You can’t just “choose” happy during shitty times.Moments and periods of difficult feelings are likely there for a reason–to tell you something. And contrary to what the happiness industry wants you to think, they don’t go away by “choosing” happy. Instead, give yourself permission to feel what you’re feeling, turn inward to the emotions, and figure out what they’re trying to tell you.

READ MORE

‘Confidence Comes From Within’ And 3 Other Myths That Are Making You MORE Insecure (Forbes)

“I just want to feel more confident” is a request I’ve heard from countless clients over the years. They’ve tried positive thinking, affirmations, and “faking it ’til [they] make it” (spoiler alert: they didn’t “make it”). Yet here they are, in my office (or these days, on my computer screen), frustrated that they haven’t achieved the confidence they’ve been told they ought to have.

Photo Courtesy of Pexels
Image Courtesy of Pexels

Their “low self-confidence” can manifest as social anxiety, performance anxiety, test anxiety, generalized anxiety, perfectionism, passivity and passive-aggressiveness, eating disorders and negative body image, depression, and addiction. It can create challenges in our relationships (insecurity, continued reassurance-seeking, poor communication), keep us from ever getting into a relationshipand  hold us back from career success (for example, not apply for positions we believe we’re “not good enough” for, underselling ourselves to our peers and superiors, or experiencing crippling anxiety in interviews and meetings). (READ MORE)

I’m Interested In You. That Doesn’t Mean I’m Trying To Have Sex With You.

Image Courtesy of Pexels
Image Courtesy of Pexels

“I’ve been a part of this industry a long time, Megan. You haven’t. Yet you seem to be quite close to some very powerful people,” my male colleague told me over twice-annual post-work cocktails.

“It just doesn’t add up,” he continued. “And I don’t know how you pay your rent. I’ve wondered at times if you’re an escort, and I’ll be straight with you: others wonder the same thing.”

Winded, I uttered, “You’re kidding, right?”

“That’s why Evan* (a mutual friend in the industry) acts uncomfortable around you. He has the same questions.”

  (Read more).