The Double Life Of ADHD Women: High Achievement, Hidden Struggles

By day, Sarah Singh* leads strategy for a Fortune 500 company. Her colleagues see a decisive executive who can hyperfocus through complex problems and generate innovative solutions. But at home, a different reality unfolds.

"I spent decades thinking I was just lazy and unmotivated," she tells me, her voice carrying a mix of frustration and relief. "I'd make elaborate to-do lists and planning systems, only to abandon them after a few days. My team never saw the piles of unopened mail, the missed appointments, the constant internal chaos. The shame was crushing."

Sarah was diagnosed with ADHD at thirty-eight, joining a growing number of high-achieving women discovering their neurodivergence later in life. As a therapist and executive coach who relates to Sarah’s “double life” deeply, I can attest that her story reflects a broader pattern of how ADHD manifests—and is frequently missed—in women who appear to “have it all together.”