Last Sunday I schlepped myself home from a friend’s place at 5:41am. My “I’m going to have one drink!” night turned into a runaway — an outcome I rationalized as necessary coping coming off the heels of hands-down the most traumatic dating experience I’ve had in this city. My usual go-to of Jivamukti and Acoustic Covers just wasn’t going to cut it with this one, so I gave myself permission to help my friend clean out the dregs of his liquor cabinet (liquor shelf*), and we danced our way through an 80’s, 90’s and early 2000’s playlists respectively. Following a flash of lucidity in which I was reminded I’d prefer to wake up in my own bed, I congratulated myself for my responsible decision and embarked on the twenty-or-so minute stagger from The West Village to FlatironRead More
A couple weeks ago, I found myself at an intimate dinner party. Normally I feel confident and outgoing at social events. But as the host brought out a third course that rivaled a Michelin Star restaurant, I found myself overwhelmed with anxiety and shame.
I don’t belong here, I thought. These people are way too cool for me. I’m too small-town for this. I have “Country Bumpkin” written all over me. Which fork do I use? They’re 100% judging me. She’s regretting inviting me. She probably thinks I’m a complete fraud. Why am I being so awkward? What’s wrong with me?Read More
It’s one thing to leave a job you hate to follow your dreams; but what about leaving that “cushy” job that’s not totally terrible? In this interview, brought to you by Discover LMS, Sarah Merrill of “Big Kid problems” walks Megan through how she traversed this decision in her own life and how she’s made a successful business out of social media.
From appearing as a guest on the day- time Emmy winning Steve Harvey Show on three separate episodes teaching “Social Media 101” segments, and being featured on various podcasts and websites as a “millennial thought leader”, listen in as Sarah shares how she embraces fear and failure, and lets us in on her secrets to growing and monetizing her following to a quarter-million.Read More
“We entrepreneurs can’t afford to date,” I half-joked to a friend the other day. “We can’t take sick days when we get our hearts smashed.”
I’m a therapist who helps people learn to be resilient in the face of life’s uncertainties. But even I catch myself feeling anxious about how to stay motivated when I’m feeling down—especially in the shit-show that is dating in New YorkRead More
“I met someone else.”
I’ve been on the receiving end of this statement so many times, it’s almost comical. I’m at the point where I can predict my reaction with tragic accuracy: It begins with my heart dropping like a plane that’s hit an air pocket. Then I feel like I’m going to throw up for about five minutes — during which I frantically text my group chat, familiar tears wellingRead More
“Considering your family history, I think you ought to consider antidepressants,” my doctor stated, her tone gentle yet firm as I sobbed sdfin her office.
My mood had been a battle for as long as I could remember, but lately it had become particularly unbearable. Every morning I awoke to inexplicable heaviness and lethargy – a depression thick with anxiety, guilt, and futility. I’d always felt like a bit of an outsider, but this was extreme. I felt disconnected from reality – like those dreams where you’re trying to scream or fight back or run but are paralyzed. I’d been exhausted for months, taking naps on the yoga mat in my office or the front seat of my car during lunch. I couldn’t concentrate in my sessions with clients and felt like my brain was operating at 20%Read More
“Do you think I could have a brain tumor?” I asked my nurse bestie while we waited inhe chairlift. My head had been throbbing for the past fifteen minutes and, being one of those incredibly lucky people who never gets headaches, my inner hypochondriac was having a heyday.
She rolled her eyes and assured me I didn’t have a brain tumor (but I mean, how did she know for sure…?), and we later discovered the reason for my unusual pain: unbeknownst to us, her brother had made decaf coffee that morning. And that was the moment I could no longer deny my dependence on caffeine to be a functioning human
“Are you getting help?” the emergency room physician asked, his voice stern yet his eyes soft with pity. I wondered if he had a daughter.
“Yes,” I lied, averting his concerned gaze. My shame was compounded by awareness of my naked body, visibly starving through the slits of the humiliating blue hospital gown. “I’m seeing a therapist.”
Hours earlier, I’d bussed myself to the hospital after throwing up blood and feeling scared my eating disorder was going to kill me. I’d sat in the waiting room alone, too ashamed to tell my boyfriend at the time why I couldn’t meet up with him that night. I have too much homework, I’d told himRead More
The power had shifted. I knew it. We’d been on six dates and were definitely at the “are you in or are you out” point. I’d gone and caught feelz and he’d backed off. The tone of our texts had changed. What had once been emoticon-punctuated questions were now short, abbreviated answers. Friggin’ consultant language. Why do they have to abbreviate everything?
Frustrated, I opened Tinder and began swiping. Swipe, swipe, match, swipe, match, match, match. The instant gratification provided a momentary escape from my rejection. The irony is that I know better. I’m a mental health therapist who preaches constantly about “refraining, sitting with uncomfortable feelings and practicing self-compassion.” I teach this mindfulness strategy to clients, helping them overcome destructive behaviors or unhelpful behaviors. Sometimes, I can practice what I preach. Right now was definitely not one of those timesRead More
This episode’s guest is Megan Bruneau – a psychotherapist and wellness coach based in New York. She is also a writer and blogger and her work has been featured in different publications like Forbes, The Huffington Post, Entrepreneur, Thought Catalog and Elephant Journal, just to name a few. She hosts the Failure Factor which features “failure stories” from successful people.
Today, we discuss eating disorders, anxiety, and other manifestations brought about by perfectionism. A very insightful episode as Megan has actually suffered from and battled with perfectionism as well, which she was able to overcome by practicing what she preaches, stepping out of her comfort zone, and discovering self-compassion. A very eloquent speaker, Megan provided us with an excellent episode that you’ll gain a load of value from.Read More
Remember how last year you made that resolution to give up carbs? Volunteer at the local shelter? Put away $500 from every paycheck? Stop judging people? Right. How are those working for you?
For 2016, rather than placing unrealistic expectations on yourself — and saying “fuck it” on January 15th, subsequently dropping close to $1K on a new TV that you use to pass judgment on the stars of Vanderpump Ruleswhile you inhale stuffed-crust pizza — try making these achievable changes that might actually last until February. And if attempting them all feels too overwhelming, go for one to startRead More
I recently broke things off with a guy because I felt too vulnerable. I hadn’t experienced “those kind” of feelings for someone in ages, and it left me paralyzingly uncomfortable. Now look, a shit-ton of anxiety is a natural symptom of falling for someone, and feeling vulnerable in relationships is necessary; however this felt extreme. I tried to sit with the discomfort and “be cool,” chalking my distrust up to past betrayals or attachment issues. But something wasn’t right. My spidey-sense kept going OFF, so I honored my intuition and called it quitsRead More
It’s Sunday morning and I’m at City Bakery listening to Piano Ballads on Spotify. It’s unusually quiet here in contrast to the typical Manhattanite brunch-rush. There’s a trio of neon yoga gear-clad women sharing a confectioner’s sugar-dusted muffin in the corner, and one other MacBook-sheltered freelancer who’s been texting for the past nine minutes. I wonder if he knows about iMessage for his computer.
For a long time, I dreaded Sunday mornings as a single personRead More
1. Change is inevitable and uncomfortable, and you’ll survive it. We go to great lengths to avoid change or to ensure we’re totally prepared for it, but you can never totally prepare. Change/transition is inevitable and uncomfortable, and we can choose to view it as liberating or devastating. Humans are adaptive and I promise as long as you survive, you’ll survive.
2. You can’t just “choose” happy during shitty times.Moments and periods of difficult feelings are likely there for a reason–to tell you something. And contrary to what the happiness industry wants you to think, they don’t go away by “choosing” happy. Instead, give yourself permission to feel what you’re feeling, turn inward to the emotions, and figure out what they’re trying to tell you.Read More
As a woman who’s deeply fulfilled by your career, your days are peppered with inspiration and gratitude. But there are times when your meaningful path is punctuated by pain. Here are five challenges that come along with being a woman who chooses to follow her career dreams:
You will feel judged.
When you prioritize work. When you’re assertive. When you travel alone. When you give your opinion.
Some people will attribute your success to your sexuality. Some people will accuse you of “never being satisfied.” You’ll try to explain to them it’s not the outcome that drives you, but the process . They’ll raise their eyebrows anyway. You’ll realize you can’t please everyone, which will be both defeating and liberating. You’ll give less f*cks what people think, which will both empower and concern youRead More
“I just want to feel more confident” is a request I’ve heard from countless clients over the years. They’ve tried positive thinking, affirmations, and “faking it ’til [they] make it” (spoiler alert: they didn’t “make it”). Yet here they are, in my office (or these days, on my computer screen), frustrated that they haven’t achieved the confidence they’ve been told they ought to have.
Their “low self-confidence” can manifest as social anxiety, performance anxiety, test anxiety, generalized anxiety, perfectionism, passivity and passive-aggressiveness, eating disorders and negative body image, depression, and addiction. It can create challenges in our relationships (insecurity, continued reassurance-seeking, poor communication), keep us from ever getting into a relationship, and hold us back from career success (for example, not apply for positions we believe we’re “not good enough” for, underselling ourselves to our peers and superiors, or experiencing crippling anxiety in interviews and meetings).Read More